


Godamn, Man Child

by HecoHansen31



Series: Madge & Jade [1]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M, Famine - Freeform, Non-Following Canon, Poverty, Violence, dark themes, mention of deaths
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:07:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 16,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26064730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HecoHansen31/pseuds/HecoHansen31
Summary: The return from the war wasn't difficult solely for soldiers.But also for who they had left behind.And who stayed.Madge is a daughter to a soldier and a sister to a dead brother, left wiht nothing more than her intellect.The one thing that might get her involved with everything she had sworn to avoid.And even worse... she might just learn to like that new world.
Relationships: Arthur Shelby/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Madge & Jade [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1892134
Comments: 8
Kudos: 15





	1. Your Head In Your Hands

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever work for this fandom, so if you could give off some encouragement to me, I'd love it and it'd certainly make me want more of this series (it is my for ever OC insert instead of Reader so I am a bit unsure about this).
> 
> So, please, if you want more, don’t forget to leave some kind of feedback I truly apprecciate it from the bottom of my heart and it’ll truly make my heart beat stronger and my fingers write faster!

Madge walked with a few things in her hand, in the new apartment she had found, after she had been evicted in the house she had inhabited her whole life.

She had chosen to move there, after she had sold every piece of furniture she owned previously in the house she had grown into, since they were all her latest properties, after her family had slowly disappeared through famine, sickness and war.

Three of the four horsemen of Apocalypse, Death herself being the sole one she hadn’t meant yet, although she saw it on the face of her beloved parents and brother, consummating themselves through a slow agony that had brought them underground too early.

And had left her alone.

Without a penny to her name.

She hadn’t grown up with all the money in the world.

Living in Small Heath after all had never been synonym of richness, but her father had had some business trades in London and it had been enough to give him some kind of respect and fame among people and between his children.

But when the war had stopped the trades and her father had been sent to war, they hadn’t much and meanwhile her mother gave her children all the food she owned, she had starved herself in a slow death and when the Spanish flu had started being a guest in their house, Madge had been the only one that had been able to see her departure.

She cursed Luck each time she looked at herself in the mirror.

The new house or better apartment, since it was in a smelly complex in a part of town that wasn’t either trafficked or at ‘big’ risk (as if small or medium risk weren’t still dangerous), hadn’t a big price monthly because was actually managed by a religious association, which meant that the owner tended to be more lenient, having immediately noticed that the trembling girl in front of her didn’t have much hope in her eyes anymore.

But she hadn’t certainly been truthful when she had explained that she would have the apartment all to herself, because as she moved in the small place, it looked half-filled with different things that belonged to somebody that wasn’t hers.

She thought that it might have been something that the previous owners had left behind.

And then as Madge had walked in what would have been her room, she found a girl on one of the two mattresses laid on the floor.

A green-eyed elegant girl, dressed in a nurse uniform, lacking solely of the thighs and of the hat.

Madge had seen quite the number of nurses when her father had come back from war, his wounds making him unable to do anything and eventually smothering him with a pillow had been a mercy that still weighted to Madge’s name.

The only good thing in her whole life that kept here on that side was Gabriel, her fiancé, who had promised to support her through thick and thin, choosing to try out going to London to a relative that might have him put in some kind of business he didn’t want to talk with her, since jobs for a person like him were scares.

‘When I’ll have the money for an house, we’ll be together again, my love’ he had said when they had last spoke after he had kissed her hands, a promise in his light eyes, of a beauty that had always made the shy and small Madge wonder why he had chosen her.

But, back then, she had just nodded.

And she had soon thought that she could have found some kind of job for herself, at Small Heath, to help Gabriel reach their goal faster, not wanting to weight on his family, although he himself had suggest that she just moved in his old house.

But Madge knew that to his family she would have been nothing more than another mouth to feed.

So, she had sold everything and now she was in her new apartment.

Or so she had thought.

‘… I am sorry… I must have been… I must have walked in the wrong apartment…’ the girl raised her beautiful green eyes at her, the shade was much more mellow than normal, having a darker tone that seemed the bottom of a broken bottle.

They were laced with apathy, as if the woman truly didn’t care about what would have happened and Madge thought for a moment that this woman, dressed as a nurse might as well be some kind of criminal or some crazed woman, who the war had destroyed in every conceivable way.

‘I don’t think so’ commented the woman, as she moved in a sat position, meanwhile Madge stood painfully uncomfortable in the small entrance of what was supposed to be her own room, but now seemed almost a small laugh at her face ‘… you must be Madge, my roommate’.

Roommate?

No, she had rented the apartment for her own.

The owner of the complex hadn’t talked about that in he slightest and she had barely mentioned any other person interested in the apartment since it reeked of piss and it looked as stable as the small stack of book in her box.

The few ones she hadn’t throw in her chimney to warm up her and her family when wood had been too expensive.

‘… ahem… I do think that there was some kind of… mistake’ Madge tried to do her best to appear calm and polite, not knowing who this woman truly was and wondering whether she was in some kind of danger, the hair on her arms standing tall, which was something that she always thought as an omen.

She never knew whether it was good or bad.

She just knew that the last time it had happened, her brother had died, meanwhile she sold some of her family jewels for food.

‘No mistake, sweetheart’ although her eyes spoke of apathy, there was a tint of sarcasm in the nickname the woman gave her, but it wasn’t mean-spirited ‘… Mrs. Carlin actually chose to rent the apartment to two ladies, since it’ll make her double the gain’.

Which was quite smart, since the woman had to donate half of the income from the complex to the Church, and had she been able to make two girls spit the room, she would have doubled her income, which came in quite handy in these hard times.

But had Madge known about it, she would have tried to get her to lower the price, mostly because it wasn’t fair for her to pay for a full apartment whereas she would have used half of it, making her space even smaller than it already was.

And most importantly she would have to share it with a stranger.

Whoever this woman was, certainly didn’t seem the worst company she had ever been in, but having grown up in a distinct neighborhood, constantly tutored in literature and ‘good manners’ she couldn’t help but feel somehow uncomfortable at the thought of not having any other choice.

She hadn’t paid Mrs. Carlin her own share, yet, so she could have turned around and kept on living in Gabriel’s house with raised eyes every time she ate and stayed at home, searching desperately for a job she couldn’t find.

But at the same time, she knew that staying in the past wasn’t a choice.

‘… she screwed us both, if it helps’ commented the beautiful woman, as she moved to finally raise up, coming close to her and towering over her since Madge was barely able to reach a normal height, meanwhile this woman looked like quite the giant for her ‘… I am Jade, by the way, roommate’.

And she offered her an hand, calloused and slightly scratched, but her fingers were elegant and nimble in Madge’s small ones, cursed and yet so thin that you could see the profile of the bones, her own chest and torso looking like that, in a way that was an omen in itself.

That’s why she needed this apartment.

This way she would have had the set up to start searching for a job on her own, to make her own money and be able to eat up properly, alongside supporting her own small growing family.

So, she accepted Jade’s hand.

A month had passed, and her first rent was due in a few days.

She had the money, but had she used it to pay for her rent she wouldn’t have the money for anything else.

And she would have either been forced to go back in Gabriel’s house or starve.

Either solutions seemed quite horrid in her mind.

She had learned through her whole experience, meanwhile she was in search for a job, that she was as proud as her mother had been back then, begging her father to bring them with him to London, to have a nicer life than the one they had in Birmingham.

But Madge’s father had always been a sentimental man and he had grown in Small Heath, although he had wanted his children to move as far away as possible, wanting them to reach out for success, something which he had ensured, through expensive tutors and even more importantly his own suggestions, he had raised them in the same city he had been born.

He kept on repeating that to them after he had come back from the war, in an horrible way that seemed more a taunting that a true suggestion and now, with each day closer to her demise, she found herself hearing his voice again in an horrid lullaby that left her eyes open each night.

At first, she had refused any jobs as a maid or as a normal cleaner, since she had quite the ‘important’ skills, but the truth was that she had never raised an arm for any cleaning.

Although she knew the theory of it, she was afraid of not being of much help as a maid.

But now, when she was thoroughly desperate, she had tried reaching out to any job that was legal, just to hear ‘we aren’t interested’ or ‘we don’t need anyone like you’, which sounded almost as insult and she was growing damnably frustrated.

Before the war she had been studying to become a teacher, but she had never been able to go to a private school to get her own license or such, so she couldn’t even try to send some kind of applications to private ladies schools, something that would have implied her finally moving away from Small Heath.

And as her father had been a stubborn emotional bull, she knew that this city held the last memory of them.

Gabriel had suggested that she came with him to London, although he had also insisted that she’d have to have her own means to survive since his relative wouldn’t help and provide for them both, and she had denied, maybe postponing to when she got a few pounds saved for the occasion…

… but the truth was that no matter how grimey the entire place was she thoroughly was part of this.

And she couldn’t deny it.

Jobs seemed as scarce as the food she could grab for herself.

There were other means to gain money, which weren’t properly legal, something that she had always been prohibited to herself, before.

But now she didn’t have much choice.

She had watched the newspaper and heard rumors about horse races.

Betting seemed the only way she would have gotten some money.

But it’d have meant selling her own last founds for something that might turn out to be a true failure, and meanwhile she did all of this, Jade had caught alongside her thoughts.

She had grown close enough to the tall nurse, although she doubted that anything would have changed from the stranger status they both had started this journey in, since Madge had her own reason not to want a deeper relationship with her, and Jade seemed a mystery that didn’t have any solution.

She didn’t speak a lot and most of the time she wasn’t at home, since she had long turns at the ambulatory, but Madge had also noticed that she also had some kind of secondary job, mostly at night, which made her come home with a bloodied uniform and money that reeked of dirt.

But as she had learned to satisfy herself with jobs that she had always though as ‘lower’, she knew not to ask Jade questions she didn’t want to hear the answer to.

Had she had a chance she would have done the same.

She could have started selling her body, it would have made her gain a steady income, but not only she would have been under somebody’s control, but the sole thought of the act in itself filled her body with a terrible feeling, not for the fact that she had always been taught how horrible and desperate such an act was, but the act itself, it just… it just made her feel violated.

But horse races were equally dangerous.

Her father had warned about them, telling her that the only people who won were the ones behind it, not the one who did the bets.

Poor people could only become poorer.

And yet, she wasn’t solely poor, but she was truly desperate.

When Jade had seen and probably noticed her decision about this, she had talked through it with her, something that she had to admit the nurse had handled quite well, since had it been everyone apart from her, it would have made Madge reply annoyedly, because she might have perceived it as an invasion of her own privacy.

She had definitely inherited the stubbornness from her father and the proudness from her mother.

Which made a lethal mix.

‘Are you considering betting something at the horse races in the Shelby’s shop?’ she had seemed completely disinterested about it all, as if she had just asked about the weather outside, meanwhile she ate a small toast she had filled with butter and marmalade, something that had made Madge’s mouth water immediately.

She didn’t remember the last time she had eaten marmalade.

And although she knew that she only needed to ask for Jade for one for herself, since the nurse had many times offered her some food, she felt like not only it would have meant stepping on some kind of unwritten boundary, but she was also damnably too proud to beg others for food.

She swore pride would be her downfall.

‘.. maybe’ she had bitten on her own mouth to calm her hunger.

To keep it inside.

‘… it is a quick way to make money’.

Her words tasted of foolishness and she knew it.

Even more under Jade’s emotionless stare.

She was barely a few years older than her, but her eyes spoke of being much older.

An old soul, Madge would have dubbed her this way, for sure.

Some kind of ancient poet, she loved reading about, and yet nothing about Jade was poetic, she was analytical and logical and although her roommate knew that she was able to random acts of kindness, Madge wouldn’t have been sure about her having truly a soul.

She just seemed so at lack of taste for life.

‘If you need a job, I might ask out for you’ her proposal was dangerously lined with interest ‘… I saw that you had a few books about ‘teaching’ and ‘children’, maybe I could ask around to the clients at the ambulatory if they have a need of a maid for their children…’.

Which would have been downright impossible, since in hard times the last thing people thought about was for sure the education of their children.

‘… I am not picky with jobs’ Madge said calmly ‘… still I have to admit that I wouldn’t make a proper nurse…’.

A calm smile appeared on Jade’s face, almost as if she was having her own fun.

‘… not many that work with me are proper nurses’ there was almost bitterness to her tone, mixed with sarcasm ‘… but I do imagine that you don’t like working with blood’.

Madge nodded vigorously.

She had seen too much blood, in the latest years.

‘If it doesn’t bother you…’ muttered softly Madge, not knowing truly what it might have brought her in, but Jade nodded her head as if Madge hadn’t just pushed her last hopes on her,

As if she had simply asked her a favor.

As if they were friends.

The war had taken many of her fellow friends and many didn’t associate with her anymore after her family’s downfall, leaving her alone when she needed it the most and still now she felt like it was the greatest of betrayals.

But at the same time, it hadn’t been all their fault.

She had been too damnably stubborn to ask out for their help.

So, it tasted bittersweet to rely on Jade.

The woman shot a quick look at her wrist-watch a small thing in leather that she always checked, as if it rhythmically marched her day down to the ‘t’.

‘… I’ll go, now, gotta open the ambulatory today’ she commented, as she stuffed the rest of the toast in her mouth, leaving one that was buttered and full of marmalade in her plate, something which was the only kindness that Jade did to the prideful Madge that she accepted.

She left behind her a toast she knew she wouldn’t eat, so that Madge would eat something that was more than tea for breakfast, as a secret agreement between each other, because Jade had soon learned that any word might offend Madge’s frail pride.

So, she would always cook a toast that she wouldn’t eat and leave it to her roommate.

Madge ate it in a few bites, as if it helped lessen the shame she felt for that charity.

When Jade had told her that she had found her a job as a tutor for a private household, she had rejoiced.

But now faced with the Shelby’s shops backside entry, she couldn’t help but feel nauseous at the thought of what Jade might have found for her, even scared about what ‘job’ might be hiding under the pretense of tutoring.

Had Jade seriously thought that she was truly that desperate?

And how the heck had Jade managed to find her a job at the Shelby’s betting shop?

Although it now made sense why Jade would come back at such terrible hours with blood on her hands.

If she worked on the side for the Shelby’s when she didn’t have turns at the ambulatory, she undoubtedly gained quite the money, doing something that was unbearably dangerous and for a moment Madge was terribly worried of getting involved in their own’s business.

She didn’t know them personally, and neither she had ever had the occasion to.

Her father’s business trades mostly involved London, hence they didn’t ask him his monthly fee for protection and her mother had made sure to put both her and her brother through private tutoring to avoid them mingling with the ‘wrong crowd’ in public school.

But she knew what they did.

They were some kind of gangsters.

After they had returned from war, they had set up their own true mission and now they were escalating powers through the various gangs of Birmingham, certainly having quite the control over Small Heath.

But to them poor and invisible people like Madge, didn’t matter.

And she had done her good amount of work to avoid being noticed.

And now she was walking straight through in the lion’s den.

And before she could rethink all of this, the door was opened, probably since she had been noticed through the window, standing in front of the house like a complete idiot, and then a beautiful woman came face to face with her.

She must have had the same age of her mother, but whereas her mother showed her age gracefully, in the body of this woman there was no time for aging, in an elegant assemble of clothes that made her appear younger, but not in any way vulgar.

Her clothes were classical, maybe a bit old-fashioned but in no way outdated, giving the woman an immediate aura of control and leadership, even before she ushered in Madge, with a quick look and a gesture of her hand.

And then uttered:

‘Oh, sweet girl, don’t stand outside of the door! Come inside! Come on!”.

Well, at least these criminals had manners.

‘You must be Mary’ commented the woman and Madge almost felt an horrible feeling at correcting her with a quick “It’s actually Madge” ‘… oh please do excuse me, lovely, you just had the face of a Mary’.

Everybody would have looked crazed saying that, but the woman said it with such a self-assurance that made her almost stand on her feet, as the woman quickly dragged Madge inside, and she kept her head low, almost something to use as an excuse if she ever was questioned about not seeing something.

‘I am Polly’ the woman said, as Madge’s eyes sent her an immediate confused look, which she deciphered quickly ‘… no need for any Mrs. or such, Madge, or you’ll make me feel old’.

That was the last thing Madge wanted, for sure.

They came to a halt to a room that might have looked like any common dining room she might have ever been in.

The flowery wallpaper looked old, in some part coming undone, as if also the most-well known gangsters of Small Heath had their own financial problems, something that made Madge smirk lightly as she sat down next to the woman, after she had been invited to.

‘Might I offer you a cup of tea, little one…’ she looked almost as if she was trying to busy herself, feeling too active to sat herself down, something which she looked quite used to, making Madge smirk at the memory of her own mother, being a little fretting beastie ‘… or you might prefer whiskey?’.

‘Just water would be perfect’ she didn’t want to sound needy or even talking out of place, but her tongue stuck painfully to the upper part of her palate, something that made her talk numbly.

‘You aren’t one for expensive tastes’ commented the woman, a serious smirk over her face, although it kept itself to a sarcastic amusement, that made Madge gulp loudly once she turned to bring her a glass of water, pouring herself one of an amber liquid she didn’t question ‘… or maybe you are too afraid to speak up’.

The last part cut her deep and she raised her face with cheeks burning of rage, but she held her tongue, knowing that she wasn’t risking solely a nice job, but also her life.

Thankfully, the woman moved quickly to push herself away from that topic, almost as if she hadn’t said it.

‘… the job is easy: my nephew, the youngest, Finn has been slacking off more and more at school, something that I won’t allow, because as much as his brothers were allowed to leave school early for war, he isn’t and I’d like to see one my boys with an instruction at least’.

She adjusted elegantly her dress, since the quick words she had spit out had somehow compromised the way she looked, although she seemed as collected as she had been before.

She had been through a cyclone and she had come back from it, winning.

Hadn’t Madge feared her already, she would have admired her, truly.

‘… you’ll be required to help him through math, literature, geometry and any other subjects that might be difficult for him’ explained the woman, as she knocked back in a sole gulp the whole glass of amber liquid, as the glass water laid untouched in front of Madge ‘… Jade told me that you were studying to become a teacher so it’ll be easy for you, although I do have to warn you…’.

And before she could finish the phrase, which had been almost a bad omen in itself, a fury of black and as tall as her (which meant pretty short) appeared in the room, another man in his tail, his elegant suit, identifying him as another of the Blinders and again Madge’s eyes were pasted to the table and the full glass of water.

But soon all her attention was caught by the little child that had walked in, decked in a full suit with a Blinder’s hat, making her half smirk at the irony of the situation, meanwhile the child looked at you with annoyed eyes, definitely not looking forward to her being his teacher.

‘… my nephew can be quite… active’ commented annoyedly the woman, as she moved to deck the boy in the back of his head, sending another to the other male that had accompanied him, making him yelp and Madge, caught by that anguished sound, raised her eyes for the first time, meeting the ones of the man.

They were small and yet so open that she found herself completely immersed in them, of a light grey tinted with green, in a way that made them shadowed and yet offering themselves to Madge, making her shiver as they answered her gaze, before they fell down.

Almost shy.

She wouldn’t have ever thought that a Peaky Blinders would have been shy of a woman.

But she had been told that although her eyes were common they reeked of something powerful and old and many times her younger brother would call her Athena, since she resembled her and one time she had even played her in a family play.

‘Arthur don’t you have some business to run?!’ Polly looked definitely looking forward to have him away and Madge couldn’t help but agree, as much as he had been intimidated by her staring competition, she certainly didn’t feel at ease with the knowledge of having a killer like that near her.

His hands were as dirty as the mud under her shoes.

But hadn’t she also killed?

Although it had been a merciful act…

… but did it seriously matter?

‘Yeah yeah, Pol’ he commented, but Madge felt him push last a gaze onto her as he left the room, and she had to will herself to avoid looking at those beautiful and slightly hooded eyes, pushing her nails in her palms almost as a punishment ‘… Finn, fucking behave’.

Another slap was heard and Madge wasn’t able to stop herself from smirking lightly.

‘… Finn this is Miss Lionkel, your teacher’ commented softly the woman, trying to usher the child closer, although he looked like he had planted his soles on the ground and she couldn’t help but smirk softly ‘… I do hope that you’ll get along and learn something from her’.

‘I don’t fucking want to’.

She had to admit that in that family they were all used to curse.

And as soon as he had uttered those words, Pol pushed a small slap on the boy’s face, who much to his courage didn’t flinch but looked like he could relatively cry at any time and Madge couldn’t help but remember a similar scene.

Her own brother had never liked in the slightest learning and her mother had always had to plead desperately with him.

‘… Finn, right?’ she called out to him, only gaining a disdainful reply ‘… well, we aren’t going to learn nothing today, but we’ll count money…’.

And she slowly grabbed her small pouch with he few money she needed for a her daily errands around the city, Pol looking at her carefully, almost as Finn did, ready to be tricked, but as she started naming the numbers, making willing mistakes, the child exasperatedly, took them away from her, starting to count them on his own.

She softly corrected him each time he chose a wrong number, but quickly Finn seemed to have relaxed himself something that was quite helpful for when she moved onto teaching him some new math, under Pol’s attentive glance, the woman eventually leaving to start what looked like dinner, but Madge felt her eyes glued to her.

Eventually Finn didn’t seem that annoyed with her anymore and although he certainly lacked some basilar knowledges, he was smart and fast and she didn’t have to anger herself much more, knowing quite the trick to make the boy learn.

At the end of the turn, before it could become truly dark outside, Polly stopped their lesson and moved to accompany her outside, keeping the same route, which meant that she wanted t keep this separate from ‘the business’ she had talked with Arthut, and at the door, before Madge could mumble a ‘hello’, Pol cornered quickly.

‘… I do think that you know what goes on in this house’ it seemed almost a threat in itself ’… Jade trusts you and she is the one that recommended you so I do trust her, and you haven’t given me any chance to think otherwise. You are smart and you do seem to make Finn study, but in this house, we don’t appreciate people sticking their noses where it isn’t proper, do remember this’.

This was instead a straight up threat.

‘… I won’t’ Madge commented, wondering what the heck she had put herself in.

When she was finally back at home, Jade joined her a few minutes after, and she could tell that she had just been back from the ambulatory.

Whenever she came back from the ambulatory there was always some kind of tension in her shoulder, a cold anger in her eyes, and Madge had soon learned to recognize it and strangely she was mirroring her stance that night.

She hadn’t been able to calm herself since she had come back from the Shelby’s shop, and she had been going up and down in the small dining area the apartment had.

The money Pol had given her were enough to cover the rent and some more but they hang heavily in her pockets, burning an hole in them.

And she hadn’t taken them out.

For a moment, when she had been on the road she had thought of turning back and give them back to Pol, assuring that she’d never visit the house and wouldn’t say anything in the whole world of what she had seen.

But then some kind of survival instinct had gotten to her and she had thought that she deserved those money for simply having moved herself in that house.

Her mother would have frowned upon it.

But she was poor.

And she didn’t have a mother, anymore.

But still her words were bitter towards Jade, when they came face to face.

“… what is your business with the Shelby?” her voice was inevitably screeching “… they are damnably dangerous!”.

And much to her advantage, Jade didn’t appear surprised in the slightest by Madge’s insulting affirmation as if Madge had just asked the weather outside, again.

And Madge honestly thought that nothing could surprise the trained nurse.

“… they aren’t anymore dangerous than some men that wear uniforms, believe me” and she pushed down her bag onto the small coat hanger Madge had brought, where her scratched and patched up coat was set up already.

She might have bought another one with the money in her pockets.

“… but I am sorry if the job wasn’t what you expected” Jade’s voice was like the calm water that dug a hole in a rock “… feel free to reject it, Pol won’t say anything to the brothers, don’t worry, there won’t be any repercussions”.

That’s all Madge had been thinking since she had come back.

Give back the money, refuse the job and try another.

It would have been the way she would have gone before the war.

But now the loss she had suffered hanged heavily on her had and made her greedy and desperate.

“I just…” ‘I just don’t want people to think I am some kind of horrible woman’ “… don’t want my fucking brains to be blown off”.

And strangely both she and Jade found themselves laughing at that affirmation, an evident smirk on both their faces, as they took each other’s faces in.

But she knew that there was much more behind their laughs.

Their destinies were now intertwined.


	2. But You Don't Know The Half Of The Shit That You Put Me Through

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Madge's life seems to be far more exciting than it is, delving its life on a dangerous road that is damned to brng her to perdition...  
> ... as if her life wasn't already rough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (A/N): ... guys...  
> ... so I am very exhausted and this is shit, so I do understand why this might flop and why it sucks.  
> It is honestly one of the most difficult fic I have ever written but...   
> ... although it sucks, I just had to finish it because it was hanging on me heavily.  
> I do hope that you'll like it still and have a good reading!  
> (and it'll make you smile a bit).  
> Also guys, any feedback is welcomed and encouraged, so please do know that if you leave me a comment I'll love you for ever and ever!  
> (now I am going to pass out).

She had been slowly getting herself used to her early visits in the Shelby’s betting shop, although she mostly visited the most private area, under Polly’s watchful gaze and attentive hands, always cooking something and offering it to her.

Madge once, having arrived a bit late due to helping Jade moving in a few new things in the kitchen, had listened onto Polly commenting about her ‘excessive thinness’:

‘The physique of a boy’ she had said, meanwhile Finn sang loudly some kind of old and vulgar limerick she thought that one of his brothers had taught him.

Madge hadn’t met them many times.

She had heard that Thomas, the second child, had eyes that could rival Satan’s.

And she hoped things would be kept this way.

Meanwhile John, the third oldest, was known for looking at every woman’s figure that passed his way, something that made Madge incredibly uncomfortable whenever it happened to her.

The most she had been in the presence of a Shelby had been when Arthur, the eldest, had come in with Finn on her ‘trial day’.

Hence she continued on keeping her head down and helping Finn focus his mind, since he could be quite the brilliant boy, when he managed to sit himself down and use his energy for counting and literature, something that Madge was trying to teach him, taking her brother as a reference.

Maybe that was why she was slowly growing so fond of the boy, something that he reciprocated in a way that made Madge feel warm inside for the first time ever after the war, being all the joys of her life.

Although it was true that she still had Gabriel.

Still he was growing distant and she wasn’t able to simply blame it over the distance, but Madge felt like not only his correspondence was scarce and short, but most of the time his letters seemed to be hiding something between stains of ink.

She wondered whether he had been busy or found somebody new.

She hadn’t ever thought herself truly able to score somebody like Gabriel, but they had been friends since the start of their own lives, and she had thought that he had seen something through her petite form and her light eyes.

He had seen her smartness, her quick wit and her compassion.

But he had never confessed to her what he had seen her back then, so Madge could just try to secure her heart through promises of him coming back to take her.

To love her.

And yet in many cases sadly, distance didn’t make the heart grow stronger.

But she tried not to think about things that weren’t inherently useful to her own survival, in that money.

One step at the time.

Earn money, survive on you own and put what you didn’t use to meet Gabriel in London.

To live the fairytale life with him there.

And yet, there were times in which she didn’t feel like she deserved it.

She had done horrible things during the war, she had been the one who had delivered salvation to her own father, through smothering him with a pillow, but she doubted that God would have appreciated her taking His power off his hands, toying with it in a way that only he could allow.

She was tainted and dark.

And Gabriel was right to move away from her to avoid further contamination.

Had the war transformed her in this monster or had she always been like that.

And sometimes she wasn’t surprised that she had found herself working for the Shelbys.

Even more that day when Arthur again appeared, shoving the door to the small private room with enough force that Madge had caught quite the scare, almost ending up with her feet on the chair where she was sat in a way to protect herself.

And the Shelby man looked also quite frightened, although soon his expression disappeared for a more meek one and a soft curse left his lips, as he looked at the ground, something for which Madge was grateful so she could return to her pretenses of being nothing more than an invisible help to them.

“Arthur!” cried out Finn, distracting himself completely by what he was studying, something that didn’t unnoticed by her, chastising him quickly although there was no way Finn would have gotten back to work with the small distraction of his older brother.

But Madge didn’t think it would have been such an horrible thing, after she saw that there was affection in the soft glance Arthur send his way.

“… Finn” commented curtly the man, himself, moving closer to the table, exactly as Madge got up to help Finn, collecting pencils and papers softly, to avoid her presence being known “… aren’t you supposed to be studying?”.

“Aren’t you supposed to be working to the shop?” the expression on the small face of the boy made Madge unable to avoid a smirk on her face, evidently he must have picked up from Polly, since he was quite quick in learning both curses and sass.

Madge wished she had been half as sharp as that child, back when she was one too.

“… I am waiting for Tommy” was Arthur’s quiet answer, before suddenly his eyes were onto Madge “… midget, sorry for the interruption, I’ll go…”.

“… what did you just call me?” the words escaped her mouth, before she could properly check them.

And they made even Arthur take a step back.

“… I… just… your name is Madge, girlie, isn’t it?” he didn’t wait for her answer, before another rushed trail of words escaped his mouth in an uneasiness that made him appear as less gangster Madge had feared and more a common desperate drunkard “… and you are small.. so… midget”.

Her brother had called her ‘midget’, since he had grown up taller than her, making fun of that older sister that looked like the youngest between them.

And the way Arthur said it, it brought Madge back to passed past.

It was a secret revealed to those who didn’t need it.

And as if it wasn’t enough, Finn raised his voice:

“You are right, Arthur!” the child looked at you with an expecting happiness that made Madge suddenly squeak, as she backed away getting off the chair “… we should call you, midget, from now on!”.

And that was the drop that made the vase overflow, inside of her.

“… I need to go to the toilette, please excuse me”.

And Madge’s feet brought her away as fast as they could, which was mighty fast for somebody that barely reached 5 feet but with legs that were a size double than her flat chest, which had grown even thinner during the war.

She had to agree with Pol, she must have seriously looked like a boy.

And the mirror reflected a gaunt face with traits that seemed carved in marble, but as if they had been pushed thoroughly and sculpted in a way that made it seem like an act of violence an act of wanting to delete anything they had been.

And for a moment Madge’s fist inched against the mirror, and then water splashed itself on her face as her fists hit its surface and not the mirror, bringing her back in a way that inevitably destroyed the image in the mirror.

And now her face wasn’t anymore cursed.

But yet, she delved her eyes far away from it.

She went back, unsure of what to say, what justification to use, just knowing that she would have groveled to their feet, in order not to seem disrespectful but as soon as she had walked in she could hear Polly’s angered voice, but not towards her.

Towards Arthur.

‘What the heck Arthur? What the heck have you done for that poor girl to run away?!’

‘I don’t fucking know, Polly’ Arthur’s voice was strangely low, as if he had something in his mouth, probably a cigarette ‘… I just… I might have called her ‘midget’, but it was all in good fun…’.

And then what must have been a slap echoed in the room, and it made Madge rush in, immediately worried, but when she entered again she saw that Arthur was holding his cheek, meanwhile Polly was in what looked like the aftermath of her having slapped him.

Madge certainly hadn’t thought this to be the outcome of her anguish.

But she couldn’t think too much about it.

“… I am sorry for the interruption” she simply replied, not truly knowing what to say and just fidgeting with her hands “… I just needed to freshen up, I am having trouble sleeping…”.

“Oh, sweetie, I’ll fix you something for that, although Jade might help you more than me” started chattering Polly, evidently to avoid the nervousness of the entire situation, as if to completely ignore what had just happened.

“… I’ll accept it if you want to take my paycheck partially or fully” added Madge, as she shot a quick look to a very embarrassed Arthur, but to his credit he didn’t say anything and just stood his ground.

“Oh, don’t be silly, Madge!” exclaimed Polly again more loudly that it was proper “… it’s just water and a few minutes, do sit down and we won’t disturb you, anymore, right Arthur?”.

Arthur’s head moved on command, nodding and he finally moved away, leaving an air of tension that definitely dragged on till Madge’s work was done and Polly passed her a small brew of herbs for her insomnia, meanwhile Finn looked discouraged to even simply call her by her name again, waving softly at her, as they said their ‘goodbye’s.

She thought this would be all over soon.

She’d be going home, sleep over it and she’d forget about this all, alongside Polly and Arhur’s playful taunting.

And yet she could hear that dragged ‘midget’ escape his mouth, as she clutched the sheets tighter in a desperate attempt to stay on this earth.

To keep her soul inside of her body.

But it wasn’t over.

“Girlie!” she heard herself being called out.

And it surprised here, because she knew no one who would have called that.

For Gabriel she had always been ‘love’ or ‘darling’ which spoke of affection and yet a polite one, such as the one she read in books.

‘Girlie’ was inherently carnal, down to earth in a way that made a shiver go down her straight back.

She justified with the cold that seeped through the holes in her coat.

“… wait up”.

And before Madge knew it and could realize it, Arthur Shelby, one of her worst nightmares, was by her side.

“… you might be as tall as a penny, but you certainly have long legs, fucking hell”.

“Is there something wrong?” Madge had never been a type to drag out things, which meant that she went straight up to the point.

Something that was useful since Arthur’s face brightened up at that, he definitely didn’t like doing the talk.

“… I wanted to apologize if calling you ‘midget’ was offensive to you” Madge marveled herself at the fact he hadn’t used curses.

Had Polly told him what to say.

But a quick shoot in those light eyes told you it was all of his.

“It wasn’t” Madge replied, although back when she had been happier, she had dreaded heavily that nickname, even more when it was used by those who teased her for her height “… I just… hadn’t heard that nickname in so long”.

Her tone must have revealed much more than she had thought, because suddenly Arthur’s eyes found hers, rendered even darker by the gloomy afternoon they were immersed in.

The man had a sad smile on his face, as Madge pushed her uncured nails in her palms.

“… my brother used to call me ‘midget’, because I was smaller than him, although I was the eldest” a sad smile appeared on her face and she bit her lips to ruin it, to bring it back in a way that would have hurt less.

“Did the war take him?” something in Arthur’s eyes seemed to know of the pain you felt.

“Spanish Flu” Madge corrected him “… he was too young for the war, but still my father wasn’t spared by it”.

“I am sorry about it” and his voice truly seemed that way, as Madge simply smirked sadly at him looking at her polished shoes “… I’ll make sure that Finn won’t call you that way, as for me, do know that it wasn’t my intention to bring back bad memories”.

Madge didn’t know whether she must have been surprised by the fact that he hadn’t cursed through the entire thing or of what he had said, either way, she smirked softly one last time, before making to turn, just for Arthur to gently grab her by her coat.

“… let me accompany you, mi… I meant girlie” and he looked so damnably shy that Madge would have bet that Polly had actually threatened with him and although she could walk on her own, she simply smiled, nodding.

She couldn’t deny a man like Arthur Shelby

The conversation, meanwhile they walked, was mostly small talk, neither of them wanting to reveal anything to the other, something for which Madge was grateful, and it consisted mostly of Arthur cursing the weather, meanwhile she giggled at his ridiculous attitude.

Jade came back at the same time she and Arthur arrived, the man tipping his hat at her, meanwhile a small smirk appeared on the beautiful woman’s face, a light of recognition in his face, evidently showing that she knew him.

Madge had soon learned that Jade’s work for the Shelbys was of some kind of private contract, mostly being asked to cure gun wounds or stitch up body pierced by knives, and not only the nurse was lovely and good at her job, but Jade was quite discreet, although on some nights she’d tell Madge a few of her secrets.

It seemed an unlike friendship, but one for which Madge was grateful, since it was the warmth she had seemed to get, since after the war.

“… goodnight ladies” muttered Arthur before turning around, meanwhile Jade jokingly bowed at the older man, a small smirk of knowledge on her face, meanwhile Madge strangely felt her cheeks blushing, as if she had been caught doing something that she shouldn’t have done.

She had certainly confessed to Arthur more than she should have.

But strangely, she felt like she could trust him with that secret.

It was the shine in Jade’s eyes that worried her.

A mischievous nature hiding in them, as if she suspected her of something, something she hadn’t done and yet something that she knew that she had let her see, unwillingly.

“… why did Arthur accompany you, back?” she asked, once they were inside, meanwhile she undressed carefully, setting up a new uniform on the chair by her bed and then pranced in the kitchen in an elegant bathrobe that Madge had tried on once meanwhile Jade was on her turns, which had completely eaten her up.

“Polly made him” it was an easy excuse, and it was plausible since Polly looked out for both the girls “… she just said it wasn’t safe for me, since it’s starting to get darker earlier and Arthur wasn’t doing anything…so, she made him accompany me”.

“… he is a good man” Jade’s eyes now set on Madge slowly, and they made a shiver fall down on her spine “… but not everything in him is straight, mostly after the war”.

“I have no business with him” Madge didn’t know why she had to clarify it, but she knew that she should have and it made Jade back away from her, as if she had just said something with a poisonous spit “… I have a fiancé and I am very happy with him”.

“Just looking out for you, Madge” now there was no taunting on her lips, but Jade still looked almost bothered by something, eventually soothing up her bad thoughts through a good amount of food, since lately they had been both able to afford better food and a bit more of it.

Madge’s eyes had become bigger immediately when she had noticed the chocolate in the market, pure and delightful Swiss dark chocolate, something that she had always been able to afford when her family was alive and well, but she hadn’t tasted since the war had started.

And she couldn’t also right now.

And soon another matter busied them both as Jade told her that a few girls at the ambulatory had talked about a new police officer in town.

‘… some kind of big fish’ spoke Jade as she looked at the newspaper they stole from their neighbors’ trash, although sometimes Polly would allow Madge to take the ones that they didn’t use at the betting shop, mostly because the girl used them to teach Finn ‘… fought in Belfast against the IRA’.

Madge drank in everything, since she kept to herself mostly, whenever she wasn’t wanted for Finn’s lessons, although as of lately she had been used also to babysit John’s demonic spawn, something that she did with her head bowed and her mouth closed.

She mostly stayed in the house, not being able to afford much of the amusements outside and she had always been quite the shy type, enough that she was happy to simply listen to the rain with a book in her hands.

‘… I thought Small Heath was… an unproblematic place’ as ‘unproblematic’ it could be with gangsters roaming the streets and the memories of the war torturing men and women alike, but it wasn’t a place that was as troubled as Belfast ‘… did they put him in here as a punishment?’.

‘… apparently no’ commented Jade and now her gaze was sleek and attentive ‘… apparently somebody stole some pretty expensive automatic machine guns…”.

Something in her voice told her that it was the Shelbys.

And Madge had set herself up with them.

‘… midget, you are thoroughly fucked’ would have said her brother, just to be chastised by their mother.

And she wasn’t sure she cared truly.

* * *

She was halfway through a beautiful dream of her eating a big piece of chocolate cake, when Jade lightly shook her awake, making her drop a few slobbers of saliva on the pillow, meanwhile Jade shook her more roughly, probably since she still had her eyes closed as if she could hold back the dream she was having, living in it for ever.

‘I am awake!’ she eventually muttered, meanwhile she noticed that Jade was halfway in her nurse uniform, and she wondered whether she had had a late call at the ambulatory…

… of if it had been the Shelbys.

Either way, she didn’t understand why she had to be involved.

‘… you’ll need to come with me’ she simply explained, as she hurried her to dress up, something she did quickly, although it certainly didn’t seem right since it was still late outside, barely four, probably ‘… they just sent Finn to come and get me because Arthur was wounded and I need to hurry up, meanwhile you’ll accompany Finn home’.

Hadn’t she known that it was impossible, she would have believed that back in the war Jade had been some kind of general, with clicking heels and eyes that were always ready to light you up if the soldiers didn’t follow her orders fast enough.

Which Madge did quickly.

First of all, because Madge’s own conscience wouldn’t have allowed her to simply let Finn roam on his own in the roads at this hour and second of all, she was strangely… curious about all of his, even more at the knowledge that it was Arthur the wounded one.

She knew how much of a dangerous man he had been, but the way he had searched forgiveness from her made her feel almost bad for him being hurt, although she had no part in it.

She immediately rushed to dress up, putting on half of the necessary, hoping that a coat would cover it all, as Finn walked in her kitchen, meanwhile Jade moved outside.

Although the boy didn’t show it, it was somehow obvious that he wasn’t feeling comfortable at all, and when he saw Madge he calmed himself and she moved to prepare to a bit of heated milk and a few biscuits to ease the boy, as he softly told her everything about how ‘ugly’ Arthur had been.

‘… even more than usual’ and they had both laughed, as she properly shielded the child from the coldness with a few scarves as she set back at the Shelby’s home, the streets being silent, but yet Madge couldn’t help but feel a bit worried about any noise she heard, although she knew that Shelby’s protection befell over her since she had Finn by her side.

So, when she arrived. she breathed out a breath of relief, something that was returned by Polly, who rushed them inside, apologizing with Madge for her trouble, meanwhile she blocked Finn from reaching out the other room, some kind of noise coming from it.

Probably Jade at work on Arthur.

‘Can you stay with Finn a few minutes more?’ Polly had begged her, with the promise of a hefty sum of money, and Madge couldn’t deny her request.

She certainly didn’t want to go back home at his hour alone and her sleep was completely and utterly gone.

Madge settled down in another private room, not far away from the place where Arthur was undergoing whatever surgery Jade deemed proper for him and she joked with Finn that the cries of Arthur were the ones of a wounded dragon, from which they were both hiding under the blankets of his bed.

Polly found them like that, a small smile on her face, still tense but definitely showing that Arthur was out of risk, as the dusk outside tinted softly of pink everything around it, and Jade stood behind her, her hands clean but a few smudges of blood on her nurse uniform.

‘… I’ll have to get myself ready for the ambulatory’ she said softly, but Polly begged her to stay for Arthur’s health, although the man was fast asleep from the rumbling sores the three of them could hear “… I can’t stay… if I do, they’ll fire me… and that’s what I want to avoid”.

“I can stay”.

Madge didn’t even know why she had said that.

She had always been trying to spend as little time as she could with the Shelbys and now she wanted to spend an entire morning there, although she could leave easily and graciously at this hour with Jade, having somebody who would accompany her, back home.

But she knew what it meant to be alone taking care of a sick man.

So, Madge had to volunteer.

Even though she didn’t know what she was in for.

“… it isn’t a problem” why did the words keep on flood through her mouth “… I can stay here if you don’t mind me”.

Polly looked like he could have seen a miracle.

“… oh sweetie, you’d do me a favor!” she grabbed Madge’s hands quickly in hers, holding them to her own chest, something that made the younger girl blush, at the utter intimacy she was showcasing to a complete stranger “… I can fix lunch for you, so that you can stay and still teach to Finn this afternoon, if you aren’t tired, poor dearie, we must have woken up at such an early time…”.

Jade, in the meanwhile, told her how to deal with Arthur’s wounds.

‘They are mostly superficial, but you have to disinfect them and check the eyes, to make sure there isn’t anything in them, and risk being infected’.

Madge had taken care of her father after his return from the war alongside his amputated leg, which required her constantly caring for him and making sure that whatever was left of it wasn’t infected, and although she would have made an awful nurse, she had been an attentive caregiver.

So, she wouldn’t have been that much inexperienced.

Still, she listened attentively to what Jade recommended, meanwhile Polly brought Finn back to his own bed, but the boy didn’t obey requesting a kiss from Madge, and then Polly led her to the room where Arthur was resting, leaving them alone there.

The man was clean of the blood, but cuts were evident on his face and from the thin scars she saw, they must have come from his feared hat, which stood a few meters away, bloody.

And Madge couldn’t help herself in picking it up, attentive of the part in which the razor blades had been stitched..

It was a fine job, and hadn’t she known the reason why they used those hats she would have watched it with fascination, and she soon noticed if missed a few stitches.

It didn’t take her long to find a box with some thread and needles to stitch up the hat after she washed it up in one of the few bowls of water left in the room, the one with the clearer water, adjusting it then on a towel, the only clean one she had been able to find.

She stitched calmly, which had been an activity that always busied her mind, shoving any thought aside, unlike reading which brought her mind feel at great unease, ready to venture in more words, a few of her own being written in the many journals she kept.

She stitched the razor blades back inside, careful of scratching them.

And then Arthur woke up.

She had seen her father go through nightmares, so when Arthur lunged from the chair, she was quick to push him back, although her father had been a weak and older man, missing a leg, meanwhile Arthur was strong, definitely stronger than her, and younger than her father.

As she pushed her hand down on his shoulder to make him sit back on the chair, he barreled through her, hitting her stomach with his broad shoulder, in a way that was meant to get her off his back, but she held stronger and her mouth opened.

This time she was thankful for it, actually.

“… Arthur!” his name definitely caught his attention, but his eyes weren’t lucid in any way, something that effectively got him to back down from Madge, and she held her stomach, the pain almost making her throw up.

Thankfully she hadn’t anything in her stomach.

“… you are at home” Madge’s voice was slow, to be understood, as she reinforced all the things she had to say “… safe and sound, Arthur”.

She had said it many times to her father and she wasn’t surprised when it worked also on this man, who slowly fell again on the chair, as he took in, his eyes showing recognition but his mouth opened a few times, closing a few minutes after, quickly, in an obvious search of her name.

“I am Madge” she muttered softly “… I help Finn with his studying, you have seen me around the house…”.

“… sorry” his apology was heartfelt and hadn’t she known that gangsters didn’t cry, she would have sworn that she had seen something shiny in his eyes, as he carefully shot his gaze away from Madge, the girl a bit more comfortable as she distanced herself from Arthur.

No fear in her eyes, she was used to her father.

But she knew that men, even more the proud ones, needed their own time alone after attacks like that.

“My father did the same, whenever he woke up” Madge’s confessions would have gotten her in trouble, but she felt like the worst thing for all the ones that came back from the war was the feeling of being utterly alone in what they felt “… I am used to it”.

“… he came back” it seemed almost unbelieving the way he pronounced it.

“He didn’t” Madge corrected him “… not with his head”.

“Nobody ever did truly” mumbled Arthur, setting an extreme heaviness on her.

“… do you want me to get you water”.

She would have done anything to get herself out from what looked like a confession that was damnably too intimate to be had with a man she barely knew.

A furious man, if the records were right.

“That’d be fucking lovely” she laughed lightly at his antics “… whiskey would be even fucking better”.

“I’ll do my best” Madge promised, as she moved to scurry off to the kitchen, Polly being there already with some tea and refusing whiskey, since ‘Arthur was already annoying on his own. Alcohol will make him even more troublesome, and I want to spare you that’.

Something that she carefully omitted as she came face to face with the older brother, helping him drink, as she then moved to check on his cuts, noticing that his body, now awake didn’t stop for a moment to move as he either played with his fingers or bounced his right knee up and down.

“… all clear” the girl muttered once she was finished, receiving a soft smirk of gratitude from Arthur as he settled more comfortably in the chair, leaving Madge to wonder whether she should move back in the chair or just stand there, since Arthur didn’t seem definitely comfortable of having her near to him.

And she could understand why.

Men never liked showing their scars, unless they were trying to impress the ladies.

Gabriel hadn’t gone to the Great War for some problematics with his eyes, but he’d always joke that most of the boys in the pubs of London would just roll up their arms and show their pretty arms, signed by the war, and have girls flooding to them.

He had told you this in one of his first letters before he stopped being the attentive boyfriend, he had always pretended to be for you.

“… you should sit” Arthur resolved her dilemma, lightly moving the chair a bit away from the one she had been sat down on, even trying to adjust his hair, the slick back hairstyle having fallen down to the sides of his head, giving him some kind of softer and more domestic allure.

She had never considered that men like Arthur could be handsome, but right now she couldn’t deny that she felt a rush of hotness on her cheeks as he attentively tried to open a few buttons of his shirt, something that again she rushed to do for him, getting a light grumble of disapproval.

“Tell me, girlie, does your lad know that you are undressing a man like me’” it was meant to sound like a teasing comment, but Arthur’s wounded voice had something darker to the whole phrase and again a small shiver fell down her spine.

She almost wanted to follow it down.

“… my fiancé knows” it was a lie, a badly-said lie and Arthur seemed to know it, as soon as he managed to look straight through in Madge’s eyes meanwhile she raised up to settle herself on the chair next to his “… he isn’t one to be jealous”.

She had never felt like Gabriel had anyone to be jealous of.

She wasn’t a great beauty.

She hadn’t anything particular.

She had never had many suitors before him.

But the way Arthur looked at her, made her feel almost wanted.

“… fiancé?” Arthur mumbled curious and she couldn’t help but hate the fact that she had basically hung herself with her own words “… pardon this old man’s curiousness, but you have a fiancé and no ring on your finger”.

She had had it before the war, but then Gabriel had taken it back.

“… we had more expenses to pay for now than a stupid ring” it was what Gabriel had told her, and in her tone she couldn’t hide the disillusion you had felt when he had taken the ring he had given to you back, to pay his trip to London.

But it was the truth, in the end.

She couldn’t simply be vain and attached to those stupid material gifts.

They all had to make a few sacrifices for the future you wanted to create.

“Understandable” Arthur’s tone was rough, almost as if he wanted to hide his true emotions for it.

But he wasn’t particularly good at it, and Madge could hear the annoyance he had in his tone.

“… is that why you resorted to work in this humble home?” he asked jokingly, trying to change the subject probably having noticed the girl’s hesitation to talk about her fiancé, getting a soft smile of relief from Madge as she adjusted yourself in the chair, suddenly too hot and close to him.

“Maybe” her smirk was soft and Arthur’s even softer, but soon an air of uncomfortable silence settled on both of them, and she didn’t know what to do, feeling like any kind of talk could have taken them through dangerous road, but at the same time silence could reveal much more than words.

‘… would you…’.

‘… could you…’.

They both laughed softly at the awkwardness of the situation, eventually Arthur muttering a very loud.

‘Please let’s do anything that isn’t this awkward silence! You can even pretend I am Finn and give me some math lessons! God knows if I need them…!’.

“I was actually thinking about reading out to you, if you don’t mind?” she proposed.

Her father, after his return from the war, hadn’t been able to read by himself, and her reading to him was something that always helped him calm down and it was one of the rare moments in which Madge could almost see him having come back to her.

“… I’d like that” Arthur’s voice had lowered its natural high tone, and she couldn’t help but blush at the intensity that that low tone.

And Madge more than glad to hide beneath a book, that she managed to get from the small library in the room.

In the small library there were mostly religious books, which she thought belonged to Polly.

Madge had settled on a small copy of a collection of poetries by Keats, the whimsical style of the unlucky poet being perfect to share with Arthur, whose eyes lighted up as soon as she started to read, although he sometimes would interrupt her to blurt out his own thought, making her laugh at his comments.

But soon he was snoring adorably, something that Madge thought he probably deserved after the long night he had had, and she smirked softly and pushed away a bit of his hair from his forehead, before settling up on reading silently the book, till her own eyes slowly darkened and closed.

And then she fell asleep, a night of light sleep of her shoulders, matched with a few hours of relax.

She was later woken up by Polly, the woman looking at her softly, as she talked to her with tone that was low, probably not to wake up Arthur, beside her.

Although Madge wondered how she had been able to fall sleep with his loud snoring.

‘… sweetheart’ Polly mumbled softly, her hands gently pushing away the few hair that had fallen from Madge’s elegant updo ‘… it’s six p.m.’.

Which meant that she had basically slept her way through your lesson with Finn and that she had to go home before it was too dark.

“Oh Gosh, I am so sorry!” Madge muttered loudly, panic coursing through her, as she raised from the chair swiftly, almost stepping on the book that had fallen from her hands, and Polly pushed it slowly away with her foot “… I totally understand it if you don’t want me…”.

“Little one, I don’t know what we’d do without you” commented the woman, and although her words were soft her tone was stern as if it was the only way it’d get in her thick skull “… and don’t worry about it, Finn was as fast asleep as you last time I checked, so I don’t think you two would have done much” .

“… still sorry” Madge clutched softly your hands, and then swiftly put one in front of her mouth as a yawn escaped it

“No worries, sweetheart” Polly’s voice was genuine and a bit amused, as she brought her outside of the room, quickly checking on Arthur to whom Madge sent a last look.

And Madge, herself, found her mind thinking that he looked like another man asleep.

“… he wasn’t that relaxes since the start of the war” muttered the woman, as she stood before the door, her hands quickly rummaging in the pockets of her coat, as Madge put on hers “… you are truly a magical being, a snake enchanter!”.

“I do have to say that you couldn’t be further from the truth” she muttered softly, as she readjusted her hair, making sure that the coat covered your body perfectly, this way the ripped part of it would cover parts of Madge’s body that were already warm “… I am scared of snakes”.

And then as Madge halfway through waving her ‘goodbye’, Polly pushed money into her hands, looking at the girl with a severe glare as Madge made to return the money, protesting lightly about ‘not having had the lesson with Finn’.

‘… and this is too much’ it was the salary for a whole week and she thought that maybe Polly had just paid her in advance but the woman simply shook her head, pushing her arms onto her sides, this way Madge wouldn’t be able to give her back the money.

“Take it and buy a new coat” and with another glare that admitted no replies she added “… and don’t even try to protest”.

And then she pushed Madge out with her hands still tightly wrapped around that money that burned on her palm.

But what was worst was the image of asleep Arthur that lulled her back to sleep.

* * *

The following days the image still hadn’t left her and it didn’t help that Arthur would constantly join Madge’s lessons with Finn, joking around with the boy and her and eventually she knew that some kind of strange relationship had started to be developed between them.

Some kind of friendship.

But deep down, although Madge didn’t allow herrself to think about it…

… she knew it was more.

But not only he was a Peaky Blinder, he was also much older than her alongside the fact that Madge already had a fiancé.

One that’d visit her finally that weekend.

He had had a ‘merciful’ pause from work, and he was supposed to come back to visit his family and his fiancée.

And as much as she was happy to see hm again, something in her was anxious about the idea of having to come face to face with him again.

She had changed much and Madge hadn’t talked with Gabriel about her involvement with the ‘Peaky Blinders’, which she knew he’d disapprove for sure, since he was well aware that it wasn’t solely dangerous but it’d create a bad reputation around them, both.

One that had already started.

Madge knew that people were aware of your presence at the betting shop and although she had always been the little mouse, she wasn’t able to hide in the nook of the rooms anymore, although not many believed that she had a liaison with any of the brothers.

They mostly thought that she was involved in some bets.

Unlike Jade.

Around her the rumors were even worse, but nobody dared to even come close to her with awful suggestions or talks of city gossip.

Madge had once talked about it with Jade, herself, but the nurse had seemed almost completely unaware of the rumors around her and when she had heard them from Madge, she had started laughing.

‘That you have a relationship with both Tommy and John’

‘Debatable’ she had retorted after hearing the rumors from Madge ‘… I wouldn’t get myself involved with either of the two. Fucking Tommy would be like having sex with a piece of ice, meanwhile fucking John… Gosh I can’t even think about the things that I might be catching’.

These talks with Jade had been also setting up changes and evolutions in Madge and strangely her personality was changing into something more independent and sometimes a bit more cherry.

That morning the girls’ talks had been fueled by Arthur, the man had in fact caught them both as they bought some groceries, Madge needing a few to bake a cake for Gabriel, meanwhile Jade was examining the new imported teas, her light eyes dragging themselves from box to box, as she came face to face with Arhur.

‘Good morning, lovely ladies!’ he saluted them both, gaining an immediate look of annoyance from Jade, as Madge comfortably blushed, unable to understand the reaction of her body, although it was probably due to those unexplored feelings she felt.

She thought that it was just maybe her brain wanting to live some kind of novel fantasy…

But she had learned too easily that she couldn’t have one.

“Arthur, good day to you as well, did Polly make you take a run again because you were messing up the books?” muttered dauntingly Jade, as Madge looked at her reprimandingly, but she was slowly getting after her friend’s suicidal antics.

“… yes” muttered Arthur lowering his eyes, but suddenly he raised his head again, pushing his gaze away from Jade, almost as if he thought that talking with her was some kind of challenge, he wasn’t ready for.

And Madge couldn’t blame him.

But as his gaze settled up on Madge, she didn’t know how to act.

“… but I am glad to have met you both, since I wanted to give you the good news that ‘The Garrison’ is officially mine!”.

He looked so enthusiastic that although Jade clapped sarcastically at the news, Madge smirked happily for him, complimenting him as his cheeks grew of a dark shade of red, highlighted by his light skin.

“… and to celebrate it, I’ll offer you, girls, drinks for the entire night!”.

Madge hadn’t ever visited a pub, although she had been in cafés the few times she had visited London with her father, taking the dark beverage with a croissant, as her father joked that she acted as some kind of princess.

She had always been taught by her mother that pubs were locals of perdition, not suitable for maidens like her.

But suddenly, her interest grew with the notion of Arthur’s excitement.

But she had promised to spend the day with Gabriel, even having set up dinner with his parents.

“…thank you for the invite” Madge replied softly, as she ducked her head and caught a small tint of excitement in Arthur’s eyes, as Jade gently threaded her arm with hers “… but Gabriel, my fiancé, is coming from London, I have already set up my day to spend it together”.

“Oh” Arthur’s excitement was all lost at that, and the small comment left an awkward silence between the girls, just as Jade understood the comment and decided to light up the mood.

“… I’ll come” replied loudly the nurse.

“Thank you” but Arthur’s tone seemed lower, definitely less excited than he had been for the news.

Madge blamed it on the fact that probably nobody had refused him.

“Then I’ll see you to the pub…” he tried to dismiss himself quickly, almost embarrassed “… and you, Madge, at the shop, have a lovely day again!”.

And he turned adjusting his cap, something that stole a small laugh from both the girls.

But Madge couldn’t deny that the small meeting had left her with a bitter taste.

And it only intensified. when she met with Gabriel that afternoon.

He had looked immediately very not excited to see Madge again.

But the girl had tried to blame it on his tiredness, since his work occupied much of his precious time so he might have been just lacking of sleep, and yet Madge hadn’t felt like it was simply that, but there was much more beneath it.

‘This is your place?’ he had immediately asked, as the girl brought him inside, so they’d be alone, since Jade was over at her ‘second’ job having to tend to a few of the younger Blinders that had been arrested and undergone a similar treatment as Arthur’s one.

For a moment Madge almost regretted the fact that she hadn’t suggested going with her and ditching Gabriel.

She knew that it was bad that she thought this, but a part of her couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable with the way Gabriel had started acting once he was inside the apartment she had paid for with her own money without asking anything of him.

Which although wasn’t much it was certainly all she could do on her own, for now.

‘This is the best that I could get with my salary’ Madge muttered, unsure of why she was being apologetic, when she had nothing to apologize for, although Gabriel made her feel like she had just done something wrong.

And yet, some part of her couldn’t understand why.

“Yeah, you are right, I am sorry if I seemed harsh” muttered lowly Gabriel, although his tone didn’t change in the slightest and Madge found herself twirling nervously her hair with her index finger, as soon as they reached her room “… I am just honestly tired”.

And yet, as a good judge of character, Madge could see it wasn’t simply that.

There was more behind it all.

And it seemed linked to her.

“… I am sorry to hear that” her tone was spiteful just enough to be hidden under a frosting of sweetness and softness “… you could have stayed to London, if you have had a busy week, I wouldn’t have said anything against it…”.

Strangely, some part of Madge didn’t want him there.

And her words conveyed that.

Thankfully Gabriel was too tired to understand it, as he plopped onto her bed, the mattress protesting under such exercise and the man moaned out at the uncomfortableness of the old and hard things, to which Madge could testify, since she always woke up with her back hurting.

She sat down in the farthest corner from him, not knowing where this uneasiness came from.

But it seemed like Gabriel wanted to keep her at distance.

And she didn’t understand properly why.

But she allowed him to.

“I have passed the whole week searching for a new job, actually” his voice was so low that for a moment Madge thought that it was her imagination having created those words, and when she turned to see any confirmation on his face, he just shifted it away from her.

And she knew she had heard right.

“… they fired me, on Monday” the way he knew the date perfectly brought out an horrid feeling between them that should have shaken Madge to the core, because she had thought that London gave more possibilities than Small Heath and that Gabriel would have one day come back with the money they needed.

But she just stood there frozen.

Not knowing what to do.

“… they said that ‘they don’t need more people like me, fucking idiots who can’t do anything, just some pussies who wouldn’t even get their shoes wet’ …” and he looked outside of the grim window, before his eyes turned to Madge, a rage that scared her in them “… and then nobody wanted to fucking hire me! They say that us of Birmingham come to steal the work from the ‘honest Londoners’! I just wanted…!”.

His phrase stopped midway, after Madge had gently reached out for this thigh.

But the quiet before the storm didn’t last long and before she even knew it, he had pushed her hand away.

“… and what is worst is that I fucking needed the money” Madge’s eyes strangely shone, and she thought that maybe this would be the moment she had been waiting for since he had gone to London in search of some luck.

The moment he showed her that he hadn’t forgotten about her.

That he still wanted a future with her.

Because she just felt like it didn’t matter anymore.

They just seemed so distant and yet she pushed herself closer to his meek fire.

It wouldn’t have warmed up both of them.

“… I needed them! To fucking help my family!”.

And Madge knew with the way he said ‘family’ that he didn’t mean her.

And every light that she had lighted up in her chest eased itself away, as Madge mechanically reached out again to look at the wall, giving Gabriel a quick look of her shoulders.

He didn’t care that she was there or that she wasn’t.

When had he become so cold?

Or had he always been?

She had thought for a long time that he wasn’t like that, usually.

That it was the time after the war that had changed him.

But she was starting to think that maybe, just maybe… the time after the war had just revealed who he truly was.

And it was doing the same with her.

“… do they need money?”.

Her mind seemed blind and deaf to those revelations, as they immediately thought about the money that Polly had given her as an extra for having helped her with Arthur, the money she had given Madge for a new coat.

She hadn’t been able to use yet, since Jade had suggested she waited for the city market where they could have found easily something that fit the brown-eyed girl.

‘We could even save some money if we got you a child coat’ the green-eyed nurse had joked as Madge threw a pillow her way, not truly offended and yet playfully playing the offended with her friend.

It seemed so difficult to think that it had happened in the same room in which now the air stung her skin.

“My sister was a fucking idiot and decided to buy a new dress… she said it’ make her ‘more easy to marry off’… and of course that idiot of my mother agreed…” Gabriel muttered under his breath “… she indebted herself with the Blinders”.

The revelation made Madge unable to hold back an uneven sigh, as she gripped tighter the sheets underneath her, well aware that Gabriel’s family were in great danger, although she couldn’t think that Gabriel referred himself to the same people that had given her a job and were treating her so dearly.

And to the man that made her blush.

Always.

And yet, Mdage hadn’t been careful enough with them.

They would have gladly put a bullet through her head, if she had revealed herself to be a spy or a threat.

And that thought hung heavily on the air.

They wouldn’t have blinded Gabriel’s sister or mother, but they would have certainly been convincing in having back their money with the interests, something that made Madge think that she could have done something.

“… how much does she owe them?”.

Madge expected the ever-gentleman that Gabriel was to say ‘you shouldn’t care about it’ or ‘it is my family’, but he simply told her a number and before she knew it, the girls was out of her room, and already sprinting to the betting shop, hoping that Polly would be there.

* * *

The betting shop meeting hadn’t gone extremely well, although Polly had accepted the money as a way to repay the debt that Gabriel’s family owed to the Blinders, promising not to take on any other deals with them and if they ever did to take it from Madge’s salary.

She hadn’t been against it.

In the end she was a smart businesswoman.

But she had been against Madge paying for Gabriel’s family.

‘Saving a boy’s ass won’t be of any help, if you don’t teach him a lesson’ she commented annoyedly, as if she had gone over this discourse many of times ‘… you can’t let him depend on you, without having anything back. Relationships are much similar to business affairs than you might think, little one’.

And although the reprimanding tone of the woman had made Madge sink her fingernails in her palm to hold back the rage from being scolded as a stupid child, she couldn’t help but feel like Polly’s discourse was right.

Even more when she came back home to find Gabriel nowhere to be seen, and her small ‘library’ raided, as Gabriel had left behind only a small piece of paper, after she had told him that she’d ask her employers for a loan to repay his family’s debt.

He hadn’t commented on it, although on his message the word ‘thank you’ was written many times in the elegant calligraphy she had always wanted to kiss, matching perfectly hers, obtained through years of exercise and experimentations, to make it the ‘most ladylike’ possible, as her mother liked to call it.

And he had added that he had chosen to go back to London, to gain more money, since he thought that maybe he hadn’t searched harder enough, and that ‘your own splendid example of a woman at work on her own’ had shown him that he could do more.

He could give more.

He didn’t make any words to repay his debt to her and although Madgee would have insisted that he didn’t need to, because they’d be soon together and would share everything, she would have liked for him to mention it.

To acknowledge it.

And yet, he just seemed focused on himself, stealing everything of hers she owned: her money, her books and her personality.

But what was worse was that he insisted that she didn’t go to meet his family again, since he wasn’t there to accompany her.

In the end it was ‘his’ family, not hers.

Hers didn’t exist anymore, thought Madge bitterly.

And she felt alone.

Before Gabriel came for his visit and left her alone.

But now she, not only, felt alone, but also money was missing from her wallet.

And she wondered how much of this was truly Gabriel’s fault and not hers.

As Polly had said.

It was what weighted more heavily on her.

Being used so easily, because it implicated much more.

Had Gabriel ever felt something for her?

As she was asking herself that, suddenly Jade, swamped in with an exhausted huff, pushing herself down the mattress that was so hard to make her let out a pained moan as Madge couldn’t help but smirk lightly, as her friend simply protested loudly against the bump forming in her head.

Still something hung heavily on her soul,

If Gabriel didn’t want her anymore, to who could she turn?

She had no one.

And yet, the way Jade smiled so brightly at her, as Madge checked her head made her heart turn into flesh from the cold stone feeling she had harbored inside of it, almost as if it was a shameless secret.

It was a shameless secret to be alone in the world.

“… where is your lover boy?” joked Jade, as she sent a quick look around the room, before noticing Madge’s completely proper clothes, probably thinking that her roommate had quickly hidden him in the wardrobe, after they had been taken from the passion of two lovebirds finally meeting again.

She couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

“Went back to London” Madge’s lying voice sounded so pathetic that she almost choked on it “… he had a work offer and he couldn’t stay long”.

Thankfully, Jade had been a bit too taken by the bump on her head to actually check on her lies.

And quickly she had risked another bump as she had raised on top of the bed so swiftly that for a moment Madge had thought that she’d reach the small roof over their head with her tall figure, but the woman had actually calculated the risk better this time, stopping halfway and jumping down the bed to be in front of her roommate.

And although Madge was sure that she had been offered something to drink already at the Shelby’s house to be this happy and easy with words.

And she enjoyed her friend’s happiness, to contagious and bright that it reached also her.

It felt as if she was bathing in the sun again.

“… better” muttered the woman conspiratorially under her breath, as she came close to Madge and the girl could prove absolutely that she had drunk a bit already because of the smell from her mouth “… we’ll go to the Garrison, get shitfaced and that’ll fix your broken heart”.

Madge wanted to protest against the last part, but Jade just shushed her with a quick and very clumsy move of her hands.

“… I do know that something isn’t right, but I also know that we are strangers to each other for so many aspects, so instead of pushing you to admit something that you won’t painfully, I promise to make you have fun this whole evening”.

And Madge couldn’t deny the promise of her friend.

“This way you’ll make us become friends” she simply protested, as Jade twirled lightly on her place, making her light uniform catch a bit of air and become almost a balloon, something that made the girl laugh, as Jade joined in her, not long after.

But her last words weren’t missed by Madge’s ears.

“… I hope so”.

* * *

Pubs weren’t definitely her place, but Madge couldn’t deny that the feeling of being surrounded by all those people helped her a lot with feeling less alone, although she couldn’t deny that the crowd here was at the same time almost too much.

And she was glad for Jade’s hand in hers, as they moved quickly through the crowd, her figure opening the crowd quickly and people turned around to take a quick look at her and her beautiful emerald dress, with golden accents, matching perfectly her eyes, meanwhile her hair fell down in a cascade of thin curls, she had obtained through undoing the severe hairstyle she wore with her nurse uniform.

She was completely at ease and, although Madge had left her judgement outside of the room, it seemed like Jade had been in and out of pubs the same way she had done for libraries and it brought just more confusion to her mind.

She felt so meek in her silver dress, a bit too big for her, but Jade had given it to her, after realizing that every dress Madge owned was of a different shade of brown, something that was absolutely and in any way…

‘… not proper for a pub’ she had mumbled back home as she threw the umpteenth dress on the bed, making Madge squeal out of worriedness, meanwhile her friend simply shot a look as if to say ‘you’d do better to burn them all’ ‘… I’ll give you something’.

And although Madge insisted there was no need and that she’d wear the elegant black dress with the pearl collar she owned, Jade had just shot her a look and said that she had an image to uphold:

‘… and I won’t let you and your array of “old woman” clothes ruin it’.

And although it sounded like an insult, both the girls had fallen back in bed, laughing loudly.

And in the end Madge had been too tired to try to protest with her roommate again.

So, the silver dress was slightly tighter on Jade, but it didn’t change that it was too long for her, who was half the size as her beautiful roommate.

The solution had been quick.

With a few of safety pins the woman had pushed the hem to become shorter.

And shorter.

‘Are you sure this is the fashion of our days’ had mumbled unsure Madge, who hadn’t worn anything that didn’t fall over her knee, making her appear rather matronly, but her mother would have killed her had she seen the shiny dress Jade had given her.

But her mother wasn’t there to witness it.

And strangely that act of rebellion made her almost bolder.

What would have Gabriel thought, seeing her like that?

In the Peaky Blinders’ den.

He wouldn’t have ever thought her capable of something like this.

And she felt like proving him wrong.

‘Of course, Madge!’ had insisted her usually apathic roommate, adjusting the last safety pin in order for it not to bother her meanwhile she walked and neither prick at her legs as she moved and danced, since Jade had said there’d be a lot of dancing.

There wouldn’t, if Madge managed to have her way.

Which meant finding a small free chair and just stand there.

She had been a rather… unruly dancer, which meant that she had two left feet and she didn’t know how to use either of them.

‘… and the color really suits you! It matches your eyes’ and Madge this time couldn’t deny Jade’s claim.

The color matched the external rim of your eyes, bringing it out and it didn’t make your skin seem anymore silver, instead highlight the natural pinkish color of it, a bit helped by the blush on her cheek, and as a final touch, Jade had had her own fun trying to put red lipstick on her lips.

Madge hadn’t been able to deny that there was a stranger in the mirror.

And yet, the stranger seemed to have much more fun than her.

They managed to make it to the barstool, where a beautiful blonde-haired girl was serving beers at sweating patrons and positively lighted up as both the girls occupied her front view.

“.. oh, look who is never late for a drink!” chanted the bartender, with a thick Irish accent, as she took in Jade, and Madge was almost happy of the shadow her roommate created around her “… and she dragged somebody with her”.

“I am Madge” the words seemed almost childish and she dug her hands further in the pockets of the coat over her shoulder (they hadn’t found a sole spot in the wardrobe at the entrance, free) to avoid offering the poor bartender her hand, since she looked definitely busy with hers.

“Grace” commented the woman with a small smile “… what can I get for you, lovely ladies?”.

Madge didn’t know what to take, since her usual choice would have been wine, but she honestly doubted they had some of that in there, even more because it would have made her seem absolutely posh and she strangely detested the idea of appearing snobby in front of Grace.

The girl looked like she was a lethal weapon, with her tight-wound body, but she looked so beautifully bright that Madge had to lower her eyes because insecurities in her stomach made it churn painfully.

And there was also another problem.

She couldn’t buy anything since the money that remained from her savings had been spent on paying off Gabriel’s debt and although she had a little bit more stored in her secret place, she couldn’t bring herself to any unsavory expense.

She also didn’t want to weight on Jade’s wallet, since she had immediately offered to buy the drinks for the night, but she had been able to immediately understand Madge’s shame at the constant loans she gave her, without asking for anything in return.

Because Madge knew there was always something in return.

Any other way different from that meant that you were being used.

And she didn’t want to use Jade.

“Whatever the ladies take it is on the house!” commented a gruffy voice from behind the barstool, making Madge’s eyes raise exactly as Arthur came in her view, holding what looked like a whole container, filled to the brim of beer “… I am glad to see both of your pretty faces in here!”.

He was so loud that his voice managed to boom over the whole chaos in the pub, making both the girls and Grace giggle a bit, but Madge’s eyes were fixed onto Arthur, who was smiling so bright to her, rushing to them, as he dropped the heavy container in Grace’s hands, making both the girls smirk, meanwhile the blonde bartender huffed what looked like a curse against men.

“This place is better than I thought” muttered lightly Jade, with her usual cutting tone, the insult in her words was quickly hidden behind Arthur’s happiness for their presence and his proudness for the ownership of the Garrison.

“… and what about you, Madge?” he shifted his attention onto the girl, just to catch her staring at him intensely, getting the girl to effectively blush as she backed off lightly from the barstool, risking being hit in the face in the back by a dancing couple “… are you even old enough to be here?”.

“I am twenty-one!” protested lightly the girl, meanwhile the older man just looked at her with wide eyes.

“I’d barely give you fifteen” he shot back, making Jade behind Madge laugh, and her cheeks became again reddish.

She turned around to face him with a stern look her friend, as Jade hid from her a mischievous grin.

“… you won’t ask for a document, Arthur, will you?” shot back Grace who had managed to set down all the beer, meanwhile the man had charmed both the girls, although Jade seemed more interested in looking at what was behind the counter.

The different bottles.

“… obviously no” he muttered, with a light grimace to the green-eyed beauty, but his eyes focused again on Madge and she couldn’t help but feel a bit surprised with the way he was looking at her, before something like realization appeared on his face “… and where is your lover, girlie?”.

The girl was able enough to avoid revealing anything on her face as she blushed and brought her gaze onto the shoes, something that made Arthur get a smirk on his face.

“… he had a work appointment”.

Now that she said it out loud, she didn’t believe it either.

But Arthur did her the curtesy to believe on it for her, as he nodded, just to swiftly reach the girls as a thick glass of beer was presented in front of both of them.

Jade eagerly drank all of it as if it was refreshing water, but she wasn’t able to hide the disgusted face she made, after she came up for air from her drink.

And Madge knew, somehow that it wasn’t because of the beer.

But before she could try to comfort her friend, Arthur’s hands were in hers and he was dragging towards the small area were couples were dancing.

“That’s better! This way I can get a dance with the prettiest girl in the room”.

Madge wanted to protest.

If he wanted truly the prettiest girl in the room, he should have gone for Jade or Grace.

Not a small barn owl, like you.

“… I am not very good at dancing” she muttered as they crossed the dancefloor, and she almost got hit by a rather bulging stomach of a man trying to lure Lizzie Stark in a dance, meanwhile the pretty blue-eyed girl simply tried to smoke in peace.

Well, here’s another pretty girl for Arthur to dance with.

“Me neither!” Arthur’s joyful smirk made Madge almost want to choke back a laugh.

This wasn’t a situation in which she could have laugh easily.

She had been used by her fiancée and now she was attempting to dance with one of the most violent gangsters of Small Heath.

She should have cried.

Her old self would have cried.

But the way Arthur gently gripped her hand it made her heart sped up.

Again, as it had happened when she was tending to his wounds.

He was older than her and he wasn’t what her mother would have called ‘a proper suitor’ for her, but at the same time, there was rebelliousness in the air tonight and she wasn’t able to deny how much that small touch made her soul sing.

She wasn’t able to stop herself from caressing Arthur’s hands.

They should have been coated of blood, but instead they were calloused and thick, in a way that spoke of somebody who worked himself to the bone, exactly as his knuckles, lightly crooked, probably from too many punches on them, and Madge wasn’t able to stop herself from finding some strange comfort in the texture of his skin.

But she was quickly startled as Arthur made her twirl, suddenly.

She almost stepped in the laces of her thick boots and her dress pushed itself up, in a way that would have been indecent, had anybody taken a look at them.

But everybody was busy with their own dance and Madge hadn’t much time to recover as Arthur dipped her rather ungentlemanly.

And the adrenaline pumped in her veins.

She wasn’t able to stop herself from laughing to her heart content.

It was a croaked laugh, nothing perfect.

Nothing would have been perfect for a long time after Gabriel’s visit.

There were so many worries spinning around in her head, but as she met from the upside down Arthur’s eyes, she realized that she didn’t care about all those things that night.

And he didn’t either.

“… Madge, you truly are the prettiest girl in the whole room”.


End file.
